You know this past week I took my daughter to college.  It was actually a fantastic experience. It was hot, chaotic with four girls moving into a dorm room, and cardboard boxes and allen wrenches and woozoo fans and rugs and pink vacuum cleaners.  There was move in helpers, anxious moms and dads everwhere,  nervous kids.  There were chipper dorm chaplains, resident assistant, hall directors, mailbox key passer outers.

It was also a whirlwind of emotions.  There was a sense of looking around and thinking: are we really doing this?  How is our little tiny girls moving out?  How is this tiny soul God brought into our lives going to do this?  How are we going to do this? Have we told her everything she needs to know? Have we given all the lessons she needs, imparted all the wisdoms, given all the advice, instilled all the things we needed to instill?

And I think, by the grace of God, the answer to most of those things is yes.  But, it’s still crazy.

As Amy and I left long after sunset, we called her on the phone and asked her to come to her bedroom window.  I wanted to know which window was hers, so she pulled back the curtains, pushed up the blinds and waved as we talked on the phone.  That was it…I was waving goodbye to my only child and walking tired and sore to my car in the parking garage. A chapter in our lives was over. 

But another one was starting.

Really, the core of what emotions swirled around me, besides the thought of how on earth are dorms like this now and I’m pretty sure I left with a hunter green reversible comforter from Sears and a poster I had purchased on my senior trip…the real question was…did I use my time well?

There is a stat that when a kid leaves for college you have spent 95% of the face to face time you will ever spend with them.  That’s a horrible horrible statistic.  It’s really just awful.

But that stat…aloong with the fact that that day will come for you all boils down to the same thing…did I use my time well?

Raising kids is hard work.  It’s endless and tireless and fun and encouraging and discouraging and endless and tiring and fun.  The phrase always rings true that the days are long but the years are short.

The days are long…sometimes you just need to get to bedtime.

But the years are short and suddenly you’ll pulling up in front of a dorm and college students start pulling all your kids possessions out of the car.

Ephesians Chapter 5 gives us all kinds of instructions on holy living: things to do and things not to do.  And you know kids- I want YOU to hear that…living like God wants us to live has two parts: Things we need to not do…sinful things…and then things we need TO do…like loving each other and obeying our parents.

But I want to read a couple verses from Ephesians 5:

¹⁵ Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶ making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.

So parents: making the most of every opportunity.  Not making some of every opportunity.  Not taking a small part of every opportunity. It says making the most of every opportunity.

Everytime your kid gets in trouble, make every opportunity to show them the way.

Everytime your kid gets it right, make the most of every opportunity to build their character and point them to Jesus.

Everytime your kid asks a spiritual question, make the most of every opportunity, say a quick prayer and let the Holy Spirit guide you into answering.

Everytime you fail, make the most of every opportunity and let your kids know we all fail and need God’s love and redemption.

Everytime you doubt, make the most of every opportunity and help your children know how to handle questions.

Everytime their heart is broken, the pass a test, they get an award, make a new friend, lose a friend, succeed, fail, question…make the most of every opportunity.

That is our best best to one day stand in that dorm room, surrounded by cardboard boxes and memories, stacks of bedding and worries, command strips and quesitons…when you look across the room and see your four year old about to step into a new life…that we  won’t be overrun with regret. 

Make the most of every…every opportunity, because it really happens at a rapid fire pace.  Faster than seems possible. And believe me, faster than you want.  But make the most of every opportunity.


– David McDurham
Director of Spiritual Formation and Student Life