With school back in session, may I ask, Have expectations lined up with reality? Or – Have there been some surprises? And we all say – Of course there have been surprises! So here is the next question, What is the response to those surprises?”

After working in the yard in the middle of August, I took a break from the heat and sat down on the bench by our driveway. I noticed perfect circles and leaf shaped shadows on the concrete made by the tree branches above me. I was very intrigued by the details of the shadows and walked over to take a better look. That is when I realized the shade provided by the tree went beyond my expectation. The shade was refreshing. That is what I was expecting and wanted. Goodness knows, in Texas, we need The Shade! What I wasn’t expecting came from the extra enjoyment of the interesting shadow shapes.

Expectations can color all of life’s experiences. When expectations for your child’s school experience are off, the reactions can be just as surprising as the missed expectation. Disappointment may cast shadows that feel more like doom and gloom instead of refreshing shade. Adjusting the perspective towards gratitude and blessings makes all the difference in how life can be experienced, regardless of the age of child or adult.

Having a thankful heart takes practice. Begin this practice at home as you share one thing you are thankful for at the family dinner table. Other practices may include the following: Simple one sentence “thank you” prayers; sharing a “thanks, I needed that” moment with family members when kindness is shown; talk about a small surprise blessing that happened during the day; write “thank you” notes to teachers, administrators, nurses, or friends; discuss how your family can bless someone else. Training eyes and ears to find positive outcomes changes the reactions to missed expectations.

As you continue to help your child adjust their perspective, you may also try:  getting more rest; expressing what each person is expecting from the day ahead; talk about feelings by sharing two words to describe what is going on inside of your body; reset attitudes by playing outside for 15 minutes; and slow things down. A slower pace of life helps adjust all kinds of expectations and attitudes. Life isn’t designed to be rushed.

When we expect life to be a certain way with a specific plan, we take control and rush the moments. We limit the outcomes and honestly, miss so many of God’s blessings. We, as adults, often forget growing a life is a process of becoming. Growing is God’s design and plan. Growing in ways of thankfulness, positive attitudes, emotional health, and clearer communication are all pieces that affect who your child is becoming.

I slowed down my work, stopped to rest, raised my eyes from the dirt and rocks, and found a slice of shadow art in the shade. God’s blessings are unique and woven within the slow process of becoming. When expectations don’t meet up with reality, slow things down. Rest for a moment and be thankful for the ways your child is growing. Then, you will see the surprise blessings mixed in the shadows of becoming – becoming more like Jesus.